When I was a kid, I visited my aunt’s house. They invited me to join them for lunch. Their family was large—seven daughters and a son. The dining table had ten chairs, and the ceiling fan was fixed near one end of the table. So, only those sitting under the fan stayed cool, while the others had to sweat.

As we sat for dinner one day, I chose a chair under the fan. Immediately, one of the sisters asked me to move. She said that seat was always reserved for their brother. Their mother wanted him to be comfortable during meals. I was surprised. I asked if she was okay with feeling hot and humid. She said they were used to it. I firmly told her I wouldn’t move and that their brother could sit elsewhere that day.

In my own family, my mother hates wasting food. Leftovers are saved and shared equally among the four of us—my sister, my parents, and me. Recently, I stayed with another close relative. The household had an elderly couple and their son. As we prepared dinner, Aunty said, “Let’s make something nice for uncle and my son. We can eat the leftovers.” Then she added, “You should also do the same—always keep your husband’s comfort first.” I was taken aback. I didn’t want to encourage that kind of outdated mindset, where a woman’s needs come after everyone else’s by default. But instead of arguing, I just smiled and said, “Aunty, I’m not used to eating leftovers. Kindly serve me fresh food.” She did.

We often talk about women’s equality, but favoritism toward males often starts at home. Women can unintentionally support this by treating sons differently from daughters. It’s time mothers treat their sons and daughters equally. Sometimes I feel it’s not my place to tell others how to change or speak up for equality—it’s their choice. But if you want to be treated equally, you have to stand up for yourself.

Have you faced something like this? What did you do?