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Behind the doors

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Behind the doors

  • By Sivapriya Velayutham
  • April 7, 2024May 31, 2025

When I was a kid, we used to spend vacations at my aunt’s house. Back then, homes didn’t have separate bedrooms or fancy beds. Most had just one or two rooms with big halls, and that’s where all of us would sleep—on the floor, side by side. Those days were filled with laughter and stories as we drifted off to sleep. Such simple moments have become beautiful memories.

Today, we want individual rooms for our children—to give them privacy and space. But what comes with that privacy?

A few years ago, a friend told me her teenage son was suspended from college. He had been sending love messages to his teacher on Facebook at strange hours—1 or 2 am—and even asked her to ignore spelling mistakes because he was heavily drunk. He was barely 17 or 18 and was drinking excessively at home, while the parents remained unaware.

This is why it’s so important to stay connected and aware of what our children are doing—where they go, who they spend time with, and what they watch. Technology is a powerful tool but can be a double-edged sword. We must teach them to use it wisely, guiding them toward growth and well-being.

Children often stray when they feel emotionally alone. They need a safe space and someone to lean on during tough times. Building a healthy, trusting bond helps children feel protected and open up to their parents.

In my home, we have a few rules. I have access to my daughters’ mailboxes and social media accounts, and they have access to mine. I stop using my phone by 9 pm, and they follow the same rule. I visit their rooms occasionally to stay connected. Leading by example makes following these rules easier and more natural.

It’s perfectly fine for children to have their own rooms, as long as you know what’s happening behind those doors.

How do you balance giving your children privacy with staying involved in their lives?

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