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It’s after all your life

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It’s after all your life

  • By Sivapriya Velayutham
  • March 1, 2023

Every day, we’re flooded with advice, from family, friends, books, podcasts, and social media. There’s always someone telling us how to live better, be happier, more productive, more present. It’s natural to want to improve our lives, so we often absorb these suggestions, hoping they’ll help us move in the right direction.

But here’s something important to remember: Not every piece of advice will work for your life.

Let’s take an example. You watch a video of someone’s inspiring weight loss journey. She wakes up at 5 a.m., spends three hours on fitness, eats clean, meditates, journals, her whole day is focused on wellness. You’re inspired. You want to do the same. But you’re a working mom with two children. Your mornings are packed, making breakfast, packing lunchboxes, getting kids ready, getting yourself ready, and rushing out the door.

Now what happens? You unconsciously start comparing your life to hers. “How does she get so much time? Why am I always struggling?” This comparison slowly leads to frustration or self-doubt. You start to think your life is flawed, that you’re not doing enough.

But stop and ask yourself: Do I even have the choice to skip my morning responsibilities? If the answer is no, then the key is to adapt, not replicate.

I once read that kissing your children 15–20 times a day can deepen your emotional connection. Beautiful advice. But what if your children don’t enjoy physical affection? Mine don’t. If I chase them around trying to fulfill that “magic number,” I’ll end up annoying them instead of bonding with them. What I can do is express love in a way they receive it best—maybe through conversations, presence, or just listening. That’s what works in my life.

The truth is, not being able to follow a piece of advice doesn’t mean you’re failing. It just means that suggestion doesn’t fit your current season, lifestyle, or values. You are not wrong. Your life is not wrong.
You are doing the best you can with what you have.

So the next time you come across a life tip or a motivational story, pause. Reflect: Do I need this advice right now? Does it fit my current reality? Can I adapt it to suit my lifestyle instead of copying it completely?

Even the most research-backed, widely-followed suggestions might not be right for you. And that’s okay.

Life is not a checklist of someone else’s best practices. Your life is unique, and so should be the way you live it. Take inspiration, not pressure. Take advice, not guilt. It’s your life. Shape it your way.

Are you comparing your life with others instead of honoring your own journey? What recent advice or content made me feel inadequate or frustrated? Why?

 

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